No ‘resolutions’ for me. I hate ‘to do’ lists. There are some things I want to spend time doing in the year ahead, but they are more like aspirations than they are resolutions.
“To resolve” to do something is to set oneself up for failure because the very sound of the phrase has such a determined impetus to it. I do plan and do anticipate but I’m not a determined person.
If resolve and determination are not my motivating dynamic, what does move me ahead? I do not experience myself as pushed, propelled or driven into my future, rather I am drawn to opportunities and enticed by possibilities. Just as this blank page invites me to line it with words that are unknown, even to me, until they chatter from the keyboard, so an anticipated but unfilled page on my calendar offers me empty time and space to populate with actions and punctuate with ideas and meanings. I am more beckoned by tomorrow than I am urged by a list of yet-to-be-done demands.
I hope to breathe life into 2015 with attention to becoming a better writer, with desire to improve as a weaver on my floor loom, by maintaining my health and by being of benefit to others. These are my New Year’s Aspirations.
Later this year I’ll be 75 years old. That’s three-quarters of a century! Three-quarters of a century is a long time. I guess I think of myself as long-lived rather than as old. “Old’ is a description that denotes and connotes “worn,” “decrepit,” “outdated,” and “useless.” I experience myself as none of those. Rather I see myself as ‘sturdy,” “experienced,” travelled,” “sage,” and “practiced.” All these latter descriptions say “long-lived.”