Next week, Wal*Mart’s Konvenient Kliniks will assume the health care of our nation’s 9 million veterans. The Veterans Administration will be responsible for the upkeep of the U.S. Cemeteries here and abroad but all other function of that cumbersome agency will be assumed by proprietary corporations, whose efficient provision of cheap goods is universally popular.
Starting next week, all boards of education in all States and Territories are dissolved by Federal order. The education of all children shall be assured by the new Federal agency, H.S.N., the Home Schooling Network. Curricula for families is available through DJT Wine Club, complete with tasting notes. The new administrator of this new agency, replacing the Department of Education and its current boss, is the current CEO of the Home Shopping Network.
Work is already begun to transform all brick and mortar facilities of former institutions of higher learning into assembly and shipping centers for Amazon Prime order fulfillment. What has been known as Higher Education will now be universally available online from the University of Ajo, in southern Arizona. This is part of the MAGA priority of making broadband available to rural America.
These fantastic improvements will be available through a of doubling of Costco or Sam’s Club membership fees and a Value Added Tax at Dollar General Stores. Those making more than $170,000 annually, including U.S. legislators who cannot quite make it on so minimum a salary, will see their taxes reduced by 37% as the result of the savings in Federal spending. All other savings will go to boost military preparedness.
APRIL FOOL I hope!
6 responses to “Anticipated Tweets”
Bob, sorry, it did not occur to me that anyone would think it possible that the VA might really be dismantled 😉 Glad you recognized the joke. It is too bad more people do not recognize the Joke we have in POTUS45.
You are as adept at satire as you are at critical commentary and poetic musings. When are you going to write a book? (Call it “An Unadorned Day.”) If you caught NPR this morning, the Puzzle pulled a fast one, too. I was about ready to register my complaint online until the April Fool disclaimer at the end. Good one.
Cindy, you are too generous in your appraisal, still though I’m flattered!
Reading on, I thought – no surprise – Trump has no judgement – then I got sick to my stomach with the possibility of it being true, then I realized that you have not lost your sense of humor and so I quickly looked to the last line in hope of what I found there.
Had me going, Ron. Thinking of a Shingrix shot I had to get at a pharmacy.