World’s Newest Cartographer

New countries are usually created by their inhabitants or by some political process involving treaties and boundaries. This week though, the lines on international maps have been re-aligned by a Tweet. The Tweetie-Bird who lives at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue in the District of Columbia has designated three new political boundaries.

The city of Cincinnati, once the main hog slaughtering and beer brewing municipality in the State of Ohio, is now The Principality of Cincinnati. The W.H.O. (White House Occupant) by his own royal declaration has identified this shit-hole of a country as the place to which Rep. Amanda Pressley should return.

Now I have lived in Cincinnati, across the way from the Over-the-Rhine, in the Northside, on Chase Avenue. Two of our sons, Steven and Sean, were born in Good Samaritan Hospital in Cincinnati before it became the more recently designated shit-hole Principality. Granted Cincinnati has had its flirtations with odd politicians (Jerry Springer was once mayor and while in that office wrote a check to a prostitute to cover her services; yes that Jerry Springer), but by and large, run-of-the-mill Republicans have dominated politics to bring it to its shitty state. When I last drove through on I-71, we passed through no border point; it was still a city on the north bank of a river. I did not have to show my Passport to cross the Ohio River into Kentucky. Hmmm, Kentucky the home ground of the jowly visage that could one day face you on, say, a Two-Dollar Bill.

I’ve never lived in Detroit, but everyone knows that it has seen better days, as has Flint. But a shit-hole “Le Etat du Nord-Detroit,” I don’t think so. I don’t even think Canada would take it on as one of its Provinces. It remains in the State of Michigan and needs all the help it can get. Perhaps Rep. Tlaib might want, someday to go home, but it will not be back to another country.

And finally AOC’s home country, the newly designated Trumphate of Bronx-Queens. If the WHO (no, not the World Health Organization, Bronx and Queens probably have their own Health Departments as Burroughs) could borrow enough from Deutsche Bank to buy up all the real estate and put in a couple of successful casinos he does not bankrupt, they might function independently as Sovereign. But Amazon isn’t so far allowed to create a sovereign currency, so I doubt the Trumphate can either. Meanwhile AOC is back where she came from.

7 Comments

Filed under impeachment, phony, politics, Republican, Resistance, Trump, Uncategorized

7 responses to “World’s Newest Cartographer

  1. Dispatch had it’s say about the vomit from 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. in it’s very own editorial today. Unlikely anything I’ve said could be more influential than what’s already been said. Our friend, ‘Sag,’ is the letter writer, I blog and hope some appreciate what I have to say and how I phrase it. Thanks, though…

  2. C. Joseph

    Ron,

    Great column. Please send to Dispatch as a possible Letter to Editor .Length might preclude its publication, but they just might find a way/place to use this exceptional writing.

    Hopefully so,

    Joe

    _____

    • Dispatch had it’s say about the vomit from 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. in it’s very own editorial today. Unlikely anything I’ve said could be more influential than what’s already been said. Our friend, ‘Sag,’ is the letter writer, I blog and hope some appreciate what I have to say and how I phrase it. Thanks, though…

  3. ROLLIN TARTER

    CHOICE!

    • “Choice” when one grades beef hanging in the cooler means, slightly aged and well-marbled, i.e., fatty. An apt description of the piece and it’s author. Thanks!

  4. Fahy Mullaney

    Funny and sad. If this piece goes viral 45 will send you back to… well, I guess to Union Country.

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s